Family Law Blogs UK, US | Guest Divorce Blogging

The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill: legal update

Post author By Katie McCann: Kuits Family Law
Post date May 20, 2013

Background

Civil partnerships were introduced in the UK in 2005, but legislation such as the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 has historically prevented the marriage of same sex couples. In a bid to step closer to equality, the Coalition Government introduced the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill (“the Bill”) which will legalise the civil and religious marriage of same sex couples. If the Bill receives Royal Assent it will undoubtedly mark an important milestone in the battle for equality. A number of YouGov surveys published between 2012 and 2013 reveal that although the precise figures vary, the majority of participants have confirmed their support of the legalisation of same sex marriage.

On overview of the area

While the majority of the British public appear to be in favour of same sex marriage, presumably many of us anticipated that making it legal would simply require the Government to extend the current legislation to include the gay community. However, some unanticipated difficulties have arisen during the drafting of the required new legislation.

One of the main causes of confusion that has arisen is that under the present drafting adultery will only be a ground for divorce if the adultery has taken place between the cheating spouse and a member of the opposite sex. In other words, if two men are married and one of them is unfaithful with another man, his husband will not be able to petition him for divorce on grounds his adultery. Instead, he will have to rely on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. If, however, his husband were to be unfaithful with a woman, the aggrieved husband could petition for divorce on grounds of adultery.

There has been concern that some couples will choose to wed to benefit from tax and other reasons disassociated from traditional factors such as love and children. Others argue that those who take this view are simply opponents of same sex marriage seeking to opportunistically discredit the viability of the Bill.

The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill was not featured in the Queen’s Speech this year, but it continues to progress speedily through the House of Commons and is expected to reach the House of Lords in June. The Bill may be subject to amendment on its way to Royal Assent and once it becomes law certain aspects may be made subject to judicial interpretation (for example, notions of consummation and adultery seem particularly vulnerable to litigation given the unanticipated difficulties). Despite the technical difficulties faced by the legislators so far, the majority of the British public supports the right of same sex couples to marry and we are well on the way to making it legal, despite some bumps in the road.

For more information on same sex marriage of any area of family and matrimonial law contact Lisa Kemp

Divorce Law

Georgia Supreme Court Awards Wife Sole Possession of Marital Home

Post author By berrywes
Post date April 30, 2013

(US family law) With the number of divorce cases in the news and with high divorce rates across the nation, it seems like everyone knows something about divorce law these days. While many of us, lawyers and non-lawyers alike, have some exposure to family law, a recent divorce decision handed down by the Georgia Supreme Court shows that divorce and family law issues are far from simple.

In Graham v. Graham, the Court faced the question of whether a divorcing couple’s marital home is subject to equitable division or whether the home was separate property belonging only to the wife. Although title of the house was solely in the wife’s name, a portion of the funds used to buy the home came from sale of the husband’s own property. However, the trial court decided that the wife was entitled to sole possession of the house, as the husband had “gifted” it to her to protect the property from creditors. The Supreme Court agreed with the trial court, and awarded the wife sole possession of the marital home. While the Supreme Court’s decision was based in large part on procedural grounds, the decision nonetheless demonstrates the complexity involved when dividing marital assets in a divorce case.

Division of Marital Property in Georgia

How property is divided in a divorce case varies by state. Georgia is an equitable distribution state, meaning that any property or assets acquired during the marriage, called marital property, is subject to division. Marital property can include personal property such as bank accounts, insurance policies, and retirement accounts as well as real property, such as the family home. Separate property is anything that was acquired before the marriage or during the marriage if it was acquired by gift, inheritance, or similar means. While marital property is divided when a couple divorces, separate property is usually not subject to division.

Although the distinction between marital property and separate property may seem clear, there are many exceptions and situations where the rules are more complex. For example, even where the couple shares a marital home, if the house appreciated in value during the marriage, one party may be entitled to an equitable portion of the appreciation. As the Georgia Supreme Court demonstrated, even the couple’s marital home may be treated as separate property in some circumstances.

Navigating the Divorce Process

The division of marital property can be a complicated and time-consuming process. A divorce is usually a trying time for many couples, and dividing assets and property can often lead to heated disputes. If you are facing a divorce, it’s essential to consult experienced divorce lawyers to ensure your interests and your assets are fully protected.

Tags Divorce case Supreme Court, Divorce Law Georgia, Divorce lawyers Georgia, Family law blog USA

Child Custody Children Divorce Law Family Law Separation Law Surrogacy Law

Case law update: Child Abduction

Post author By Katie McCann: Kuits Family Law
Post date April 25, 2013

Parental child abduction cases are on the rise. In December 2012, the Foreign and Commonwealth Office launched a media campaign in which they revealed that parental child abduction cases had risen by 88% in under a decade. Between 2001 and 2011 there was a 206% increase in the number of children being taken to a country which has not ratified the Hague Convention on child abduction, making it much harder to arrange for the children’s return.

In two recent cases the main issue for the courts has been in determining where the children are habitually resident, and therefore whether they should be returned to the country from which they have been taken.

Child Abduction Case 1 – R v A

In R v A [2013] EWHC 692 (Fam) the parents originated from Zimbabwe and moved to California following their marriage. Their two oldest children were born in California and their third child was born in England. The parents had travelled to England on what the father claimed to be a temporary visit for the sole purpose of the caesarean section delivery of the third child. Following the birth, albeit after some delay due to medical complications, the family returned to California. Thereafter, the mother removed the children from California and brought them to England without the consent of their father.

In determining that the children were not habitually resident in England, the court considered the mother’s witness evidence to be “unimpressive” and inconsistent. The children’s stay in England had not become an ordinary part of their lives and the mother did not own a home there. An order returning the children to California was made.

Child Abduction Case 2 – FT and NT

In FT and NT (Children), Re [2013] EWHC 850 (Fam) both parents were British nationals who were born in the UK. Two years after the birth of their second child, the family relocated permanently to Canada. Whilst the father conceded that the move was intended to be permanent, he claimed that he made the decision to relocate conditionally on both parents finding jobs, being settled and being happy. The parties separated soon after their relocation.

The father maintained that there was always an agreement between the parties to return to the UK if either or both of them was unhappy in Canada. He contended that whilst the intention was to settle in Canada, this was never achieved.

The court dismissed the father’s assertions and found that there could be “no other conclusion” than that the children were habitually resident in Canada at the time of their removal by their father. The evidence in favour of this decision was “overwhelming” and included such facts as the family home in England having been sold six months before the move, the mother attaining employment in Canada and the enrollment of the children in a Canadian school and nursery respectively. The court accordingly made an order returning the children to Canada.

In 2011/12, children were abducted to 84 different countries. The Foreign and Commonwealth Office is limited in how it can assist parents whose children have been subject to parental child abduction, particularly where they have been taken to countries which have not ratified the Hague Convention. If you are concerned that your child is at risk of parental child abduction, you should contact a child abduction solicitor as soon as possible.

You can also download a help pack from the Reunite website at www.reunite.org.

For help and advice relating to child abduction cases, or any other area of family and divorce law, contact Lisa Kemp

Tags Child Abduction, Manchester Lawyers, Manchester Solicitors

Child Support Children Family Law

5 Things Social Workers Need to Understand About Hate Crimes

Post author By jindiola
Post date April 25, 2013

5 Things Social Workers Need to Understand About Hate Crimes

Though many people consider “hate crimes” to be relatively new phenomena thanks, in part, to tougher laws being enacted around the country, the truth is this: Hate crimes in America are as old as the country itself. Crimes have been committed against individuals and groups based on race, gender, religious preference, sexual orientation and cultural background for centuries. If social workers hope to help people dealing with hate crimes, a deeper understanding must be had. Here are five things that social workers need to understand about this brand of crime:

1.Diversity Education

One of the ways to prevent children from turning into perpetrators of hate crimes is to teach them about acceptance at an early age. Social workers can work in conjunction with teachers and families to ensure that young, elementary-aged children learn to respect each other’s differences, celebrating them rather than berating them. The NCPC has excellent lessons for children in grades one through five that center around diversity.

2.What Constitutes a Hate Crime?

Most of us are aware that a crime committed against a person because of their race or sexual orientation is considered a hate crime. But what else may constitute a hate crime? This information is important for every social worker to have. A victim of a hate crime is singled out because of perception. The perpetrator holds a certain perception about the proposed victim’s race, color, national origin, religion, age, sex, physical handicap, mental disability, marital status, personal appearance, family responsibility, political affiliation or matriculation.

Hate crimes do not have to be violent. Examples of non-violent hate crimes include verbal abuse, telephone harassment, the painting of swastikas or other hate symbols, the use of racial slurs and cemetery desecration. A hate crime need not be violent to have a profound effect on the victim and friends and family of the victim.

3.Victim Responses

Just as with reactions to illness, death and other devastating events, people respond differently when they, or the ones they love, become victims of a hate crime. Victims of hate crimes typically report feelings of anger couples with feelings of betrayal. There can be an overwhelming sense of powerlessness, resentment, isolation and sadness. Victims of hate crimes may also have an aroused, even paranoid, sense of suspicion. Victims of hate crimes report drastic changes in lifestyle as a result of their attack, whether mental or physical. As a social worker, it’s important to sit back and listen to the victim, gaining an understanding of just what effect the crime has had in order to provide the best therapy.

4.The Right Not to Report

Much like a victim of rape has the choice whether or not to report the crime, regardless of the seeking of treatment, a victim of a hate crime is not required to file a report with law enforcement. Regardless of personal beliefs, social workers must support whichever choice the victim makes. In some cases, medical personnel may be required to report the attack, however, it is still the victim’s right to not pursue hate-crime related charges.

5.Victim Assistance

Social workers should seek out resources of assistance within their local communities for victims of hate crime. Having this information on hand and immediately available will make the therapeutic process less stressful for the victim. Beyond local resources, social workers should know about national programs such as Network of Victim Assistance, National Center for Victims of Crime and the American Civil Liberties Union.

For social workers, understanding hate crimes is an important facet of the profession. Along with understanding what constitutes a hate crime, social workers must understand their impact and the resources available for victims and their families. For more information on hate crimes, be sure to visit NOVA, an all-encompassing site for victim assistance.

Robert Neff is a writer who brings awareness to world events such as hate crimes. Social workers help victims of the crimes. If you are interested in a career as a social worker check out Case Western’s online MSW degree.

Tags Domestic Violence, Families, Hate Crime, Social workers and criminal law

Uncategorized

A Closer Look at a Strange Anti-Condom Rule

Post author By jindiola
Post date April 18, 2013

Condoms!

A Closer Look at a Strange Anti-Condom Rule

Normally, college campuses work hard to give students tools to have sex safely, whether that means education outreach efforts, free STD screenings or confidential hotlines. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that there are about 19 million new sexually-transmitted diseases in the United States each year, and about half of those affect people who are aged 15 to 24, so building awareness seems appropriate. However, Boston College, a Catholic Jesuit University in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts has taken a different tact altogether by seemingly wanting students to practice abstinence or be unsafe in the bedroom. What’s the method? Banning condoms.

Why Free Condoms Are a No-Go

Recently, a campus organization called Boston College Students for Sexual Health came under fire for attempting to freely distribute condoms across campus. Beyond giving students information about being smart in the bedroom, the USA Today newspaper mentioned that the organization operates a series of 18 “Safe Sites,” spread throughout dorm rooms where students can get items such as condoms and lubricants.

Coverage on the CityTownInfo.com website notes that the student organization is not one that’s recognized by Boston College, yet the organization has received a joint letter from the college’s dean of students and the director of residence life, cautioning that if the distribution of condoms continued, anyone responsible would be subject to disciplinary action. The school asserts that such practices are against policy, because of the religious background of the institution. Although the letter did venture towards giving benefit of the doubt by mentioning that perhaps the students were unaware of such a policy, it leaves no doubt about the prohibition of further action.

The Backlash

It didn’t take long for the story to gain national attention, with many people coming out in support of the students instead of the college. New York Magazine reports that other Catholic universities including Georgetown, Holy Cross and Notre Dame stand behind the Boston College students, and an attorney from the American Civil Liberties Union mentions that if the issue isn’t dropped, the college will be subject to a lawsuit.

[Note for some of the top divorce attorneys in New York we have a guide here that could help]

Box of Condoms

An Odd Decision

Over the years, condoms have been banned in parts of Africa, and there has been debate about doing the same in the Philippines but nothing of that extent in America. During the 2012 presidential race, the Huffington Post reported that Republican candidate Rick Santorum did not want to ban condoms or birth control pills at the federal level, but felt that states should have the power to do so if desired. Even that possibility stirred up a flurry of negative comments across the country. Also, in 2010, Pope Benedict XVI admitted that although abstinence is preferred, condoms are a “real and moral solution,” especially in preventing the spread of AIDS. There’s even an organization called Condoms 4 Life that’s specifically geared towards people who follow the Catholic faith and want to practice sex responsibly.

The fact that these resources and opinions exist in the religious world seems to weaken the Boston College argument of the condom ban being based in religion, and suggest that perhaps there is a need to revisit college policy. Last year, the Lifestyles Condoms brand conducted a survey which found that one third of college students reported having sex multiple times per week, and 12% said they did it several times per day. As this data shows, college students are having sex, and making it harder for them to do it safely isn’t likely to change the trends.

Karen Alton writes for health blogs. If you’re sexually active in Denver, get lab work for std risk in Denver.

Tags Anti-Condom Rule, Birth Control Pills, family

Domestic Violence

Domestic Emotional Abuse is Just as Serious as Physical Abuse

Post author By JRO
Post date April 18, 2013

For years the term “domestic violence” only brought to mind frightening physical abuse. More recently, the phrase has begun to mean many different forms of abuse ranging from physical to psychological. Emotional abuse is a very real and terrifying part of relationships for many people no matter their gender. There are various types of emotional abuse that are commonly seen by mental health professionals who work with victims of domestic violence. Those who have never experienced this type of abuse may be shocked to hear that the effects of psychological and emotional violence are as serious, if not more severe, than those of physical violence.

Rejection

The first type of commonly acknowledged emotional abuse is that of rejection. Rejection involves letting a person know that they are unwanted in a variety of different ways. By name-calling, yelling, swearing, demeaning, and verbally humiliating a person, the abuser is telling the victim that he or she is worthless and often the cause of problems that are truly out of the victim’s control. When this type of abuse is used against children, it can also include refusal to hold or nurture through growth and development.

Terrorizing

Another type of emotional abuse that often causes severe trauma is terrorizing. Yelling, threatening, teasing, and over-the-top punishment for the sake of intimidation are all considered acts of domestic terrorism. Abusers threaten their victims with abandonment or harm and often berate them in front of other family members and friends. Abusers may also terrorize by forcing their victims to watch acts that are inhumane in nature. Terrorizing can also involve threatening to harm a beloved object, pet, or close acquaintance.

Ignoring

The act of ignoring is common in emotionally abusive situations. In adult victims this treatment brings with it feelings of severe isolation due to the emotional unavailability of the abuser. When adults abuse children by ignoring, they may deny necessary medical or dental care, intentionally fail to pay attention to or discuss a child’s interests, or behave as though the child is not a member of the family. Ignoring also may involve a general lack of attention to nurturing children in regard to their everyday needs such as food, drink, clean clothes, school work, and other important constants that are necessary for children. Abusers who ignore are physically present but meticulously fail to recognize that their victim exists.

Emotional abuse is a dangerous and insidious element. Though the psychological effects are the same, if not worse, than physical abuse, there are no physical marks that can provide those close to the victims with the knowledge that abuse is present in a relationship. Many victims, especially children, are silent about their experiences in an emotionally abusive setting because they either fear the consequences of “tattling” on their abuser, or they have been brainwashed to think that the terrible things said and done to them are deserved.

Another scary aspect of emotional violence is that it doesn’t have to be over-the-top to be considered abusive. Emotional abuse is classified as anything that is said or done to intentionally hurt another person’s feelings. It could be as simple as insulting how a person looks. In situations where the abuse is more grotesque, it can be as severe as “gaslighting” a person, which means making them feel as though they are crazy and unstable through lies and manipulation.

Shaming, undermining the confidence of another, or destroying a person’s ability to grow, trust, and have viable levels of self-esteem are all forms of emotional violence. Like physical abuse, this type of treatment destroys the victim’s ability to trust people in any capacity of a relationship until proper treatment is received. In many cases, the effects of emotional abuse burn deeper than those of physical violence, as the abuse is often more frequent. Emotional violence destroys the person who is being abused by deeply damaging them to the core of their spirit.

About the author

Jim Burns is a freelance writer who focuses on legal issues such as Medical Malpractice, Insurance Fraud, Securities Litigation, Financial Regulation, Family Law and other important topics.

Tags Domestic abuse blog, Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence

Strategies for Reducing Domestic Violence

Post author By JRO
Post date April 17, 2013

Fighting domestic violence is never easy, particularly when there is so little that can be done to prevent a crime from happening. While authorities can do their best to limit the damage and ensure the actions do not recur, how do they go about stopping something that has not yet happened? The key to reducing domestic violence crimes is to ensure that offenders know that there are serious consequences for their actions. Instead of labelling domestic violence crimes as “domestic matters,” it is time for them to be treated the same way as any assault or violent attack. Only then will the rate of domestic violence crimes diminish.

Pressing Charges

In many cases, spouses or partners do not file charges in domestic violence cases. This trend needs to change because it gives abusers the self confidence that their actions have no consequences. Once the police are called and a domestic violence incident is confirmed, charging the offender must be mandatory. Even if a spouse or partner is refusing to press charges, the police must act on their own accord. Once a generation of people begins to realize that any domestic violence incident equals mandatory jail time, they will alter their behavior.

Responding Sooner

Those who request it should be provided with a security system that allows them to contact the authorities discreetly if a domestic violence crime is taking place, or if they worry that one is imminent. An electronic button can allow a potential victim to alert law enforcement of a domestic violence case. This allows the police to arrive at the home sooner, which ensures that minimum damage occurs.

Communities Must Help

Domestic violence cannot be prevented by the police alone. Everyone needs to join in the effort to help rid the country of this epidemic. When a neighbor hears unusual shouting or commotion near their residence, they should contact the police immediately. When the police arrive, they must be thorough in their examination of the scene. Too many officers respond to a domestic violence complaint and leave the home without making sure everything is okay. They will talk to the husband/boyfriend, who informs them that nothing is wrong, and leave. Police should enter the home, see what is going on, make sure everyone in the house is okay, and then leave.

Provide Victims with Additional Protection

The worst domestic violence cases are those that involve couples who have a history of multiple incidents. A spouse or child is beaten once, and a case is filed, yet they return to the same living environment. Chances are that abuse will take place again. In these instances, the law must do everything possible to provide the victim with additional protection. Not only will this discourage future incidents, but it gives the victim an added sense of security.

Domestic violence will never go away altogether, and it is something that needs to be battled every day. Law enforcement, communities and individual families need to do their part to ensure that people feel safe inside their homes. Changing a culture is never easy, but this is one of the cases where something has to be done as soon as possible.

About the author

Jeremiah Stone is a freelancer who focuses on legal subjects such as Personal Injury, Civil Procedure, Corporate Law, Constitutional Law, Intellectual Property and others as well.

Tags Criminal law, Domestic Violence, Domestic violence charges, Family Law, Pressing charges for domestic abuse

Marriage

Generational Shifts in Attitudes toward Marriage

Post author By alanbrady22
Post date April 17, 2013

Alan Brady is a writer who uses personal experience as inspiration to write about family, the environment, and business practices. He currently writes for attorneys.com which locates local child custody lawyers.

In 2005 a survey was done to determine what views are held by members of Generation Y in regards to marriage and traditional family life. Generation Y is defined differently depending on where you look, but for this article it will be defined as people born between 1981 and 2000. The survey found that 59% of respondents feel that living together, or cohabitating as a couple is an acceptable lifestyle choice, regardless of whether or not children are involved or marriage is the ultimate outcome. Only half felt that marriage is a particularly important social institution.

For someone born into the Baby Boomer or early X generations, this perspective is often completely unfamiliar or even bizarre. Cohabitation doesn’t seem nearly as scandalous as The Greatest Generation found it, but for older Americans the end goal for any relationship is still understood to be marriage. For Generation Y and even those on the younger end of Generation X, the phrase “it’s just a piece of paper” is tossed around as an argument against the importance of marriage. Children are less and less a motivation for marriage, and a study done by the Pew Research Center found that the number of children being born to unmarried women has gone up from 28% to 41% in the last twenty years.

When questioning what influenced these drastic shifts in social mores, the behavior of previous generations must be taken into account. Data collected from 1970 revealed that more than half of all marriages ended in divorce. Even though those numbers have gone down, the idea has stuck in the cultural consciousness, quoted blindly in television and movies, in books and online without stop. In the 80s and 90s, when the young Gen X and Generation Y kids were growing up, it was the most recent data available, and whether or not it remained accurate, it certainly felt that way to them. The children in a classroom whose parents weren’t divorced were often in the minority, and the question ‘are your parents still married?’ was eventually asked less often than ‘do you live with your mom, or your dad?’

For the generation of kids raised in what used to be called ‘broken homes,’ there is often a feeling of disdain for the institution that so gloriously failed their parents. Having experienced the dissolution of their own families as children, these adults now feel a responsibility not to create another generation of latchkey kids, and will often choose single-parenthood over an uncertain marriage. Of course, no marriage can ever be guaranteed, but living together for an extended period of time before they get married lets them feel like they know what they’re getting into, which may account in part for the rise in cohabitation. In 1960 there were approximately 430,000 unmarried couples in the Unites States living together; today that number is closer to 7.5 million.

The debate around gay marriage in this country has raged for decades, but never before has there been a generation who so consistently support it, although they seem somewhat ambivalent about the idea of getting married themselves. According to recent polling data from The Washington Post and ABC News, 81% of Americans between the ages of 18 and 29 believe that homosexual couples should be allowed to legally marry, in contrast to the 44-57% of people in previously polled generations. The rate of change in those numbers is shocking, and they seem to imply a certain amount of inevitability. Even ten years ago, the conversation centered on the possibility of civil unions or domestic partnerships, but this generation view that as a new version of ‘separate but equal,’ and they will have none of it.

What has been more damaging to the perception of the institution itself has been the battle over same-sex marriage. This generation grew up listening to incredibly vitriolic recriminations against the ‘gay culture’ and the violent defense of ‘the sanctity of marriage,’ while every couple of years or so one of the loudest voices would be silenced by a scandal involving an undercover male officer, underage pages, or the services found at RentBoy.com. The hypocrisy demonstrated by these behaviors has to an extent tainted the very concept of marriage, and for many members of Generation Y, the exclusion of same-sex couples makes it a discriminatory institution, and one they want no part of.

The primary benefits of marriage have generally come from two very important spheres of life: the religious and the economic. While most religions still value marriage as the linchpin of the family, the stigma and severity of judgment against those who don’t get married, who get divorced, or who have long-term relationships and children outside of wedlock has to a large extent been weakened. For the first time in American history, the number of people who say they either don’t believe or are unaffiliated with any religious tradition has risen to 16%, and when asked 46% of people between 18 and 25 years old say they do not regularly engage in religious ritual. This means that for many of them marriage is no longer a moral issue. Even the economic benefits are inconsistent, as many low income Americans have discovered that by marrying and combining their incomes they will lose access to desperately needed services, which amounts to a disincentive or even a hurdle to marriage.

Generation Y is one of the most college educated groups in history, but after the crash and Great Recession of 2008 they graduated to find themselves in line for entry level positions behind scores of recently laid off veterans in their fields. With mountains of student loan debt and only minimum wage jobs to support themselves, many of these young people were forced to move back into their parents’ homes for extended periods of time. While this is and has always been a step on the path to financial independence, it has further delayed marriage and kids for millions of young adults. Few people think seriously about getting married while living in their mother’s basement, after all.

These data seem to be creating a misconception that Generation Y is a generation afraid of commitment, distrusting of each other, and generally uninterested in forming emotional connections. Although they may discuss marriage in more practical terms than their parents or grandparents did, there is an element of the romantic in their perspective. They see relationships as partnerships, not hierarchies, which is a lesson that would have benefited many of those divorced Gen X couples, and their reticence about marriage seems to stem from a belief that it should be more about love and respect than tradition or religion.

Tags divorce, Family Law, gay marriage debate, generation y, marriage

Divorce Law

Divorce Mediation: Shouldn’t it be the New Normal?

Post author By William Levine
Post date April 16, 2013

By William M. Levine and Hon. E. Chouteau Levine (Ret.)
Levine Dispute Resolution Center LLC
Westwood and Northampton, MA

Everyone has heard about the “War of the Roses”, even if they have not seen the iconic 1989 movie rendition of spouses gone wild. Millions of real life people have experienced emotional and litigation excesses that have sabotaged any chance of future cooperative parenting, robbed them of their dignity and nearly bankrupted them; less colorfully perhaps than the Roses, but in their own lives, no less tragically. There is a better way that works for most cases, most of the time: divorce mediation.

Mediation is a facilitated discussion in which the parties mutually identify legal issues that require resolution, exchange information and negotiate solutions. Rather than be “opponents” in a court process based on the concept of “winning and losing”, the skilled mediator works with the parties to differentiate between what they want and what they need. Together, they probe those identified interests in a search for overlap and complementary needs, rather than highlighting and exaggerating differences. The result: lower costs, greater privacy, minimized damage, reasonable and reasoned results and, sometimes, even enhanced communications going forward.

This process is voluntary, private and confidential, three attributes that do not exist in court. The engagement begins with the selection of a mediator. The parties may interview one, two or ten mediators. It does not matter. The selection is theirs and theirs alone. So, too is the location, which part of the mediator’s “package”. Whomever the mediator, his or her space will be set up to handle mediating couples comfortably, and not to try cases as with any courthouse. Public exposure is minimized. Instead of airing personal issues in front of strangers, friends and neighbors in a public courtroom, discussion occurs in a private and calm setting. Before the actual mediation starts, people sign a mediation agreement, which in Massachusetts triggers, in turn, mutual promises not to use things that are said, written or offered in mediation against either party in court, should the mediation ultimately fail. People need to speak freely and without fear of giving “ammunition” to the opposing lawyer in court; and mediation provides that.

Divorce mediation is flexible, efficient and cost-effective. There are many different kinds of mediation. Sometimes, the parties will meet alone with the mediator and work that way throughout their case. Other people mediate with their lawyers present and giving advice throughout. Some cases mix the two. Some people want the mediator to focus solely on keeping the conversation progressing and constructive. Others want mediators to provide guidance in the form of “evaluation” of facts and law so that the parties know a lot about “what a judge might do” in their situation. Both may happen; and the parties themselves make these choices.

They also decide together what information they each need to see and review so as to understand the issues and possible solutions. In court cases, rules and customs “entitle” people to get enormous quantities of information from each other and from others, because it could be relevant; but, so often, it just does not matter. Streamlining information exchange is just the start of cost-effectiveness. In mediation, the parties determine the costs that they will expend by the time they use literally and gradually. Gone are the early courthouse visits for preliminary matters that suddenly and shockingly drive up costs, always doubled to compensate two law firms, leaving parties feeling financially crippled before they even start negotiating. In mediation, the costs for one mediator are split, and to the extent that people are relying on lawyers during the process, the role of counsel is supportive and extremely time-limited. In almost all cases, mediation leads to lower, and often dramatically lower, costs.

Divorce mediation sessions are direct, civil and controlled. Most people who come to mediation are neither bullies nor pushovers. They are often upset, confused and uncertain; but they have all begun the process by making a mutual choice. It is to confront their problem with the person most intimately involved in a safe place to talk openly, with genuine feeling rather than strategic displays of emotion, and with a focus on problem solving, instead of “winning”. There are generally few session rules except for basic civility, and this baseline expectation is almost always met. If things veer in an unproductive direction, a skilled mediator will intervene and bring people back to the topic at hand when necessary, without stifling or putting down the genuineness of the feelings expressed. Mediation sessions rarely end prematurely but if they must, they do, to let heads cool and to let both people recalibrate as necessary. In the end, because the parties have “talked it out” themselves, and the agreement is a product of their own work, the people “own” their settlement and generally will fulfill its terms, in the end.

Well-mediated agreements are comprehensive, tailored and technically correct. Court decisions are brief, skeletal and often cookie- cutter resolutions. That is no one’s fault: the courts are overwhelmed by demand, underwhelmed with resources and limited in what the law provides that they may do. Negotiated agreements allow for more creative solutions and cover every issue that the parties wish and need to address. Good mediators will understand applicable law, procedures and taxes. With sound legal advice, the drafting process is just as protective as agreement drafting in anticipation of or in the midst of litigation. If the mediator drafts, he or she crafts “from the middle”, promoting fairness and balance and avoiding drafting as a game of “gotcha”. Qualified drafters are qualified drafters; and mediators who are excellent drafters will “get it right” just as any equally qualified representing lawyer would.

For sure, there are some cases that just have to go to court. These may involve domestic violence, extreme financial dishonesty, completely shattered trust, or legal issues that are so unsettled or amorphous that people just can’t reach agreement without a source of authority – non-existent in mediation – to decide matters for the parties. But these cases are relatively few. Most divorcing couples are unhappy and anxious, but most of them can identify with the desire to preserve the ability to co-parent and grandparent long into the future, to save money and to preserve emotional resources for the many other challenges of a reconfigured family life.

So, is mediation the new normal? The answer is that it is “not yet”, but each year it comes closer. It is a relatively new (three decades or so) discipline, and as word spreads, while court related costs and proceedings spiral out-of-control, this process gains greater acceptance daily. We believe that mediation should, and someday it will become the new normal.

Until that day, how many couples and families will unnecessarily agonize, antagonize and overspend?

For more information about divorce mediation in Boston MA, family law mediation, and other forms of private dispute resolution such as arbitration, please feel free to visit www. LevineDisputeResolution.com, including blog and newsletter archive, which you may receive directly by clicking the RSS button.

Tags divorce mediation, divorce mediation in Boston MA

Child Custody Child Support Children Family Law

“Shared Parenting” – What does it mean?

Post author By Katie McCann: Kuits Family Law
Post date April 16, 2013

Background

Separating parents have long expressed frustration with certain aspects of the family justice system, with fathers’ rights groups in particular defiant in their stance against the apparent bias in favour of mothers when it comes to addressing the ongoing residence of the children. In a bid to tackle this issue, the Government has proposed several changes to the family justice system by way of the Children and Families Bill (“the Bill”).

One amendment put forward by the Bill is that Residence Orders and Contact Orders will cease to be, and a single concept Child Arrangement Order will take their place. The reality of Residence Orders and Contact Orders in their current form is that one tends to be seen as a “victory” over the other, adding to the animosity between conflicted parents.

The proposal follows from the Government’s response to the 2011 Family Justice Review, where it announced its commitment to promoting the importance of both parents remaining responsible for the care of their children. As a result, the concept of “shared parenting” has overshadowed the remainder of the legislative changes to become the buzzword(s) of the Bill.

“Shared Parenting”

A public consultation on the notion of shared parenting ran between June and September 2012 and the Government concluded that the starting point in any matter before Court should be that both parents should be involved in a child’s life (presuming of course that welfare is not an issue).

The concept of “shared parenting” to many evokes the presumption of a 50/50 division of residence and contact between parents, which is reinforced by a Child Arrangement Order. However, this is simply not the case and a starting point of 50/50 residence is in fact discouraged in the Family Justice Review.

It is crucial to remember that the Court will always give the most weight to the interests of the child when considering childcare arrangements. Therefore, whilst those parents who have less contact following the breakdown of a relationship are likely to feel let down by the justice system, those feelings are ultimately not the Court’s concern. The paramount consideration remains the child’s best interests and, more often than not, the Court deems that those interests are unlikely to be best met by a straight down the middle 50/50 split of residence.

That said, the importance of maintaining a relationship with both parents, taking into account all aspects of parental responsibility, is very much at the forefront of the changes proposed by the Bill. Contrary to much public opinion, this notion is nothing new to the Courts and does in fact form a major consideration in deciding almost all of the cases which appear before them.

What does the Children and Families Bill mean for you?

It has long been understood by the Courts and related agencies that more often than not, an ongoing relationship with both parents and close members of both extended families is likely to be beneficial to a child’s well-being following parental separation. It is also understood however that the quality of those relationships, rather than the quantity, is likely to be the most crucial factor in fostering and developing family relationships to the child’s greatest benefit.

Proponents of “equal access” for parents are likely to be disappointed by the Bill which does not, on that view, go far enough.

However, it will be open to the Courts to test the question of what shared parenting amounts to exactly and it may yet be the case that the Bill goes quite some way in leveling the playing field in respect of parents’ involvement in their children’s lives.

For advice regarding children matters or any other aspect of family law, contact Lisa Kemp

Tags Kuits Solicitors, Manchester Lawyers, Manchester Solicitors, Shared parenting

Divorce Law Family Law Separation Law

Some Same-Sex Couples are Denied Divorce

Post author By Jessica
Post date April 4, 2013
1 Comment on Some Same-Sex Couples are Denied Divorce

It seems same-sex marriage is all the talk these days – which states allow it, which states ban it. But what about same-sex divorce? Why is no one paying attention to the laws that surround the dissolution of a union?

Imagine the Following Hypothetical Story:

Jane and Jill wanted to get married. Their state didn’t allow same-sex marriages. So, they traveled to one of the USA’s nine states that did allow such a union. Since the state didn’t have a residency requirement, they were able to just pop in for a few days. After the honeymoon, the couple returned to their home and proceeded with life as usual.

Several years down the road, married life began to loose its luster. Both Jane and Jill wanted to end the marriage. Things just weren’t working out. However, their state didn’t acknowledge their union from the very beginning. Therefore, the state said there wasn’t anything to dissolve. Divorce wasn’t an option.

**Do They Need a Divorce?**

At this point, about the only option Jane and Jill have is to relocate to a state that allows same-sex marriages so they can get a same-sex divorce. While the law varies from state to state, most have a six month to two year residency requirement for divorce. Can you imagine?! “Honey, I don’t want to be in a marriage with you anymore, but let’s pack up all our earthly possessions, quit our jobs, sell our home, move across the country, and start a new life – even though we can’t stand the sight of each other. Don’t worry. This is just a temporary situation. After a few years, you’ll finally be rid of me.”

So, do Jane and Jill even need to worry about divorce? If their home state doesn’t see them as married, why do they need to be divorced?

If one spouse gives birth to a child, the law presumes the other spouse is the parent. Additionally, neither spouse can re-marry or enter into a civil union with a new partner without setting themselves up for bigamy charges. And what happens to their home, assets, and life insurance policies?

While many people are interested in the legal termination of their marriage, the emotional dissolution is sometimes just as valuable. People need closure. Divorce usually provides that.

What to Expect

Deborah Wald of the National Family Law Advisory Council for the National Center for Lesbian Rights says Jane and Jill are “wed-locked.” This precarious position is one no one wants to find themselves in.

If a couple is wed-locked, they can expect a difficult legal battle. For starters, the process is very confusing to nearly everyone involved. Therefore, there is the potential for lots of honest mistakes to happen. In the meantime, the situation will probably be very expensive to get sorted out.

If Jane and Jill want to get a divorce in their home state, a state that doesn’t recognize their union, they will have a difficult fight ahead of them. One such couple was recently able to get a divorce because they were able to prove the situation unconstitutional – they didn’t have a remedy for getting out of their marriage.

Other divorce lawyers push for nunc pro tunc (retroactive to an earlier date) judgments. Either way, same-sex divorce is very, very different from heterosexual divorce.

What’s the Difference?

As of now, there is no universal rule for same-sex divorce. Since it isn’t recognized on a federal level, retirement packages aren’t easily divided up. Other financial issues may arise, and tax ramifications are usually different for same-sex divorce too.

Child custody cases tend to be very ugly in same-sex divorce. The child is biologically related to one parent, but not the other. This can cause some serious problems, even if both parents raised the child since birth. Legal rights for non-related parents are tricky.

In a perfect world, a gay couple would have a prenuptial agreement. This is about the only way to navigate safely – with minimal drama – through the divorce process.

In addition to legal differences, same-sex marriages differ from heterosexual marriages on an emotional level too. A lot of divorced gay people feel a much larger sense of guilt. Since same-sex marriage advocates have fought so hard for their right to marry, the destruction of the marriage seems like a much bigger failure. Married same-sex couples often feel like role models for the gay community. While it certainly isn’t true, they feel their divorce is letting everyone down.

What Do You Think?

What are your thoughts on same-sex divorce? Should states offer an out to unhappy couples, even if they don’t offer same-sex marriage? Do you think gay couples should even worry about divorce if things like property and children aren’t involved? Let us know what you think!

Guest author Jessica Velasco works for a Clearwater divorce lawyer. Since Florida doesn’t allow same-sex marriage, she was recently approached by a wed-locked couple seeking a divorce.

Tags divorce, Divorce law blog, same-sex divorce, same-sex marriage

Divorce Law Family Law Separation Law

Legal Separation vs. Divorce

Post author By kiernanh
Post date April 4, 2013

(Guest post from a US family law firm) The dissolution of a marriage can be an emotional difficult and financially draining uphill battle. Many couples who are considering divorce opt for a legal separation in order to test the waters before taking the steps to divorce, which can often be an uphill battle. While a divorce is a proceeding that legally dissolves a marriage and allows each party to go on to embark on separate lives and romantic relationships, a legal separation allows a couple’s marriage to remain intact while the parties live separately.

A couple becomes legally separated when they wish to remain legally married, but live lifestyles that are removed from one another. The parties separate and receive a court order regarding issues similar to those they would come across in a divorce, like the division of property, alimony, child support, custody and visitation. Alimony and child support for legally separated couples are gained through a motion “pendente lite,” which is Latin for “while the action is pending” or “during litigation.” This motion is more commonly known as a separation agreement, and exists to protect the parties’ interests until a final decision to file for divorce is made. Separation agreements are not to be taken lightly, as they take precedent in divorce proceedings. A judge commonly assumes that the spouses in legal separation are pleased with the separation agreement, and will assign divorce conditions accordingly by simply converting the separation agreement to a mirrored divorce agreement.

While getting a legal separation in order to allow time to attend counseling or be sure of their decision before a divorce is common, far more uncommon is couples who opt for legal separation rather than divorce entirely. These couples usually choose legal separation for religious, financial or personal purposes. Most religions frown upon divorce, so especially religious parties will choose a legal separation in order to continue on with their own lives while remaining married for religious purposes. In many cases couples can benefit financially from remaining married. Maintaining a ten year marriage qualifies couples to take advantage of certain social security benefits, and marriages in which one or more spouses is a member of the military have especially profitable options.

An important aspect of a legal separation is that parties may not enter another marriage or domestic partnership while separated. To file for separation, one party must reside in the county where the papers are filed at the time the case has begun. There is no required length of residency for a legal separation. If you are facing the difficult decision of filing for legal separation or divorce, consult with a family attorney who can help guide you on your path.

Tags Divorce compared to legal separation, Divorce law blog, Family Law, What is legal separation

Child Custody Child Support Divorce Law

Are Child Custody Laws Biased Against Fathers in Washington State

Post author By JRO
Post date April 4, 2013

Changes in child custody law reflect the changes in American families that have taken place over the last several generations. Earlier eras assigned child care duties to the mother and tasked the father with supporting the family’s economic needs. While this traditional structure still prevails in some families, many homes today see both parents working outside the home and sharing child care responsibilities. There are also families today in which the father takes care of the children while the mother serves as the breadwinner.

While the structure of families has evolved greatly in modern times, child custody laws in some states have failed to keep pace. Some fathers trying to win custody of their children may be confronted with archaic statutes that preference maternal rights and leave fathers wondering if child custody laws are biased against them.

Washington Child Custody Laws Are Gender Neutral

Child custody statutes vary by state. While a handful of states retain an explicit preference for awarding primary custody to the mother, the state of Washington has adopted a gender-neutral standard. In Washington State, as well as many other states across the country, the prevailing factor in child custody cases is what outcome is in the best interest of the child. While there is no guarantee that a father won’t encounter a biased judge, the laws in Washington regarding child custody make no reference to gender. In fact, in Washington divorce cases, state statutes encourage parents and judges to agree to joint custody whenever possible.

In Washington State, joint custody may be awarded if the following minimum conditions are met: each parent is active in making decisions for the child, the proximity of the parents allows a joint custody arrangement to be feasible, and the parents are willing or able to work together to serve the child’s best interests.

If one parent is awarded sole custody, the non-custodial parent will usually be awarded visitation rights. Visitation rights are granted in almost all circumstances, except in cases of abuse or abandonment. Child support in Washington may be ordered of either parent, regardless of gender.

Custody Cases in Washington State Require a Parenting Plan

Washington law requires parents who are fighting a custody battle to submit, and eventually agree to, a parenting plan. Each parent may draw up their own plan and then negotiate a final agreement in front of a judge or mediator. Alternatively, both parents may agree on a joint parenting plan by themselves, and then present it to a judge for approval.

Parenting plans will differ for each family, and joint custody is often different from equal custody. Although Washington law does not preference maternal rights, it does allow that the best interest of the child may require a majority of his or her time to be spent with one parent. While gender is not a factor is assigning these responsibilities, the courts will take into account each parent’s financial status, work schedule, proximity to the child, the existing relationship between the child and each parent, and the parents themselves.

Fathers Often do not Fight for Child Custody

Statistics demonstrate that nationwide, mothers are granted sole custody more often than fathers. These statistics do not necessarily represent a legal bias against fathers; the fact is that many fathers do not ask for sole or joint custody, but cede these rights without contest. In Washington State, there is no legal reason why a father seeking to protect the best interests of his children should not get a fair hearing.

About the author

Kevin Danielson is a freelance writer who concentrates on a variety of legal topics such as Personal Injury, Brain Injuries, Family Law, Intellectual Property and others as well.

Tags child custody, Family Law, Family law Washington

Divorce Law Finance

Divorce and the Division of Debt

Post author By Ladyblogger
Post date April 1, 2013

(U.S. Family Law and generally) Almost everyone dreams of one day meeting the person that they’ll grow old and die with. Movies like Titanic, Romeo and Juliet and Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind give people hope that a perfect love exists out there for each of us. Unfortunately, individual love stories can end much more abruptly, and sadly, this can leave one or both of the spouses struggling with debt. Most people fail to realize that debt is distributed much like property after a divorce, so it’s important for every individual to recognize the consequences of marital debt prior to ending their nuptials.

Division of Debt after DivorceWhen two people get married, they basically legally become one. This means that the debt that accrue is shared. When the two get divorced, they must distribute this debt in a fair and equitable manner. A few states make the distinction between “community” and “separate” debts. Community debts would be those that each spouse had an equitable share in (ie. mortgage, car loan) while separate debts would be those which were mainly accumulated by one spouse (ie. loan for golf clubs).Community debt, in the applicable states, is divided equally amongst the spouses while they hold onto their own separate debts. In equitable distribution states, however, everything accumulated during marriage, including debt, is divided equitably between the two spouses. The majority of states in the United States handle divorces in this matter.

Consequences of Marital Debt

There are a number of consequences of marital debt after the committed relationship ends. Unfortunately, a person is often left with debts that they now have to pay on just one salary as opposed to two. Even worse, many marriages end with only one spouse having worked throughout the relationship, so the other spouse can be left with huge bills and no means of paying them.

The worst thing that can happen after a divorce, however, can occur once debts are distributed by settlement. The simple fact is that this debt distribution only works if both spouses can be trusted to take the debt seriously. If one spouse chooses not to pay on an owed debt, a creditor isn’t going to care that the marriage is over; they’re just going to want their money from one or both of the former spouses. In the end, this can destroy a person’s credit without them even realizing it.

Avoiding Debt Issues after Divorce

There are several ways to handle debt during a divorce. One of the best ways of doing so is to pay off all debt before filing for divorce. This will ensure that it’s unnecessary to keep up with whether or not an ex-spouse is making proper payments on a shared debt. In addition, divorce settlement negotiations can be used to decide who owes what, but as previously mentioned, this simply places faith in a spouse to keep up with payments.

Unfortunately, many spouses only end up thinking about the shared debt of marriage after it has caused damage to their credit. In these cases, it’s pertinent to speak with a credit repair and counseling agency. Though it may be possible to settle debts on one’s own, a person will usually end up spending much more on a settlement than they need to. Professional companies can work on consolidating, transferring and reducing a person’s overall debt after a divorce.

Divorce is a disheartening time in anyone’s life, and unfortunately, if unprepared, the accumulation of debt can make these times even more difficult than they otherwise would’ve been. Luckily, there are a few surefire methods to decrease, if not eliminate altogether, many of the consequences of marital debt. Just because a person’s marriage is ending doesn’t mean their life has to, and handling marital debt appropriately will ensure this.

Author Catherine Stephens also works as a small business consultant and contributes this article to raise awareness marriage debt. At www.debtpaypro.com you will find one of the largest providers of customer relationship management software systems within the finance industry. These tools are important in helping a credit counseling agency to properly track and negotiate your debt to make certain there are no unresolved issues after the divorce is final.

Tags division of debt, divorce and debt

Surrogacy Law

Surrogacy law update: Changes to Indian surrogacy law

Post author By Katie McCann: Kuits Family Law
Post date March 28, 2013

Background

Since commercial surrogacy was legalised in India in 2002, the country has proved a popular destination for prospective parents intending to have a child via a surrogate. India’s surrogacy industry is estimated to be worth approximately $2.5billion and 25,000 foreign couples are estimated to visit India each year for surrogacy services.

India’s unregulated “surrogacy tourism” industry has however been subject to criticism and measures are now being introduced to regulate the so-called “rent-a-womb” culture.

New Measures

The Indian Council of Medical Research and Ministry of Health and Family Welfare have drafted The Assisted Reproductive Technologies (Regulation) Bill 2010 which is currently with Parliament for approval.

Home Ministry guidelines stipulate that to be eligible to enter into a surrogacy arrangement in India, intending parents must be a “man and woman” who are “duly married” and have been married for at least two years. Applicants must now enter the country on a medical visa rather than the previously allowed tourist visa. A medical visa will only be valid for three months from the date of issue and some couples have reported delays in obtaining the requisite visa.

Although the legislation is not yet enacted it has been reported that surrogacy clinics in India are already being required to register with the Indian Council of Medical Research and ensure that their foreign patients have the required Medical Visas before any treatment is given.

Issues

The new rules are severely detrimental to gay couples, single people and unmarried straight couples, for whom surrogacy may be illegal or very tightly regulated in the country in which they are domicile. Whilst some States in the USA, particularly Florida and California, are considered to be highly accommodating of surrogacy practices the cost of using a surrogate in America can be more than three times that of using a surrogate in India, thus preventing many intending parents from having a family in this way.

Supporters of regulation of surrogacy practices in India say that the current lack of legislation allows wealthy foreigners to exploit young, poor Indian women and to “commoditise” children. However, whilst the draft legislation does now place age restrictions on women who are eligible to be surrogates, there is no provision for minimum payment for surrogates and the measures proposed do not appear in any way relevant to addressing the issue of protection for surrogates.

The changes have been denounced by fertility clinics, gay rights activists and medical professionals for being discriminatory, without logic and introduced without proper consultation. Some surrogates who are already pregnant for intending parents are concerned that the children they are carrying will be caught out by visa changes and could be left “stateless” due to their intending parents’ lack of ability to take them home after their birth.

It is yet to be seen whether the draft legislation will be challenged in the courts.

For more information on surrogacy or any other area of family law, contact Lisa Kemp

Tags child issues, Family Law, Indian surrogacy, Legal guardian, surrogacy

Family Law

Are celebrities more likely to divorce?

Post author By snousain
Post date March 21, 2013

If you’re the type to keep up with celebrity headlines you’ve probably notice the onslaught of celebrity divorces. They’re everywhere! Kim and Kris, Tom and Katie, Katy Perry and Russell Brand are only a very small selection of the headlines you’ve read in the past few months. Why are all these marriages failing? Lets take a look at the celebrity divorce trend, and also what you can learn from it to protect your marriage.

According to a recent study by The Marriage Foundation, a UK based research institution, celebrity relationships are nearly twice as likely to end in divorce than non celebrities. Over 500 high profile celebrity marriages were examined over the past 10 years to come to this conclusion, and this shouldn’t be the least bit astonishing. After all, adoring fans can tend to put a lot of pressure and stress on celebrities and their personal relationships. They’re constantly in the public spotlight. Simply going out in public without holding hands can be enough for the tabloids to begin publishing vicious breakup rumors.

There’s no doubt that the celebrity lifestyle is also to blame for failing marriages. With money to burn, and being in company with lots of other beautiful people, temptation lurks everywhere they go. It takes a very strong willed person to be around beautiful people all day, and not make any infidelity mistakes that could doom a marriage.

So what can us regular folks learn from failed celebrity relationships to make sure it doesn’t happen in our own relationships? Here are a couple ideas:

Always make time for each other
Life gets busy, and when your schedule is jam packed with work, travel, and other obligations many times it’s our family that bears the burden. Alone time with your spouse to rekindle and keep the romance alive starts to disappear as can your feelings toward your spouse. Don’t let this happen to you! Setting aside just a few minutes a day to catch up with your spouse can make sure your relationship doesn’t fall apart. Also never forget the importance of telling them how much you love and appreciate them, even when you’ve got to rush off to your next obligation.

Be aware of temptations
Headlines are jam packed with stories of celebrity infidelity, and you have to admit it’s tough to keep your self control when around beautiful people all day. So, be wary of putting yourself in one-on-one situations with someone with whom an intimate relationship could develop.

Studies have shown that couples who make time for each other, and avoid sticky one-on-one situations with members of the opposite gender are far more likely to make their relationships a success. With every failed celebrity marriage, there’s an opportunity to learn what led them astray and do the opposite to avoid it happening to you!

Just for curiosity’s sake, here’s a quick look at a couple of the shortest, and longest high profile celebrity marriages:

Shortest:

Britney Spears and Jason Alexander (55 hours)
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries (72 days)
Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon (60 days)

Longest:

Barry and Linda Gibb (40+ years)
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson (20+ years)
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones (13+ years)

This post was written by Shelby, who created DivorceIndex.net as a resource to help people learn about divorce law, and find a divorce lawyer near them.

Tags Celeb divorce news, Celebrity divorce statistics, Celebtrity divorce blog, Divorce law blog, Family blog

Uncategorized

Your Other Last Resorts – Things To Try Before Trying Divorce

Post author By FamilyBlawg
Post date March 14, 2013

Getting a divorce is an incredibly serious decision and should be treated as such. This is a last resort that will tear apart your family, destroy your dreams for the future and put an end to what’s probably the most important relationship in your life.

Of course though sometimes divorce can seem like the only resort if you are constantly arguing and if you’re making each other unhappy rather than happier, or if you just don’t feel the love that you used to for that person anymore.

Often though there are other options even though it might not feel that way – you just have to be willing to try anything. Here we will look at some of the other things to try before you give up on your relationships once and for all.

Counselling

Marriage counselling is something that can seem abhorrent to many people who maybe see it as potentially awkward, forced or embarrassing, or who perhaps lack faith in the whole concept.

Even if you don’t love the sounds of it though, you should always give counselling ago, just so that you can say you’ve tried everything. You may be surprised at just how insightful some counsellors can be, but more to the point you’ll find it sends an important message to your partner that you don’t want to give up.

You may also find that individual counselling can help. While you probably don’t see your dispute as your fault, it does take two to tango and if you aren’t happy in your relationship then this is going to come across in the way you deal with one another. Consider getting counselling then in order to deal with any issues that may be manifesting themselves in your relationships.

Time Apart

Sometimes you don’t appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone. If you wait until your divorce has gone through to realise this though then it’s of course going to be a little too late. Instead then, try spending some time apart from one another before you reach that point and see how much you find yourself missing your partner. At the same time, spending time on your own can help you to work through your problems and to gain perspective. Sometimes we just need some ‘space’ and some time to think, and going away for a few days can help us to come back with a new game plan, a new sense of perspective and a better idea of what you want from your relationship and from your partner.

Talking Frankly

On other occasions though, this is something you’ll need to talk through together. If there are things each of you are unhappy with, then simply raising your concerns with one another can make you more likely to come to a conclusion. Try listing the things you are unhappy with for instance, and explaining why you feel the way you do. Too many of us avoid honest, frank discussion because we don’t want it to turn into an argument, and ironically this will often mean that when those issues finally do come to the surface, they end up being much more intense and degenerating into a full blown argument where both parties lose their cool.

If you try to ‘re-draw’ the terms of your relationship, you can change things that you’re both unhappy with, or just introduce new rules and ideas to try and make things easier. Perhaps for the sake of your children, agreeing to maintain a friendly relationship but sleep in different rooms could be a workable solution and this could eventually lead to a rekindling.

The Other Issues

Sometimes a marriage or a relationship can be doomed by circumstances outside of your control. For instance, if you are both very stressed by your careers, your living arrangements, or illnesses in the family, then this might mean that you end up arguing and feeling very tense when actually you could have been perfectly happy together.

If you suspect this might be the case, then see if changing your circumstances can help to make your relationship easier again. Perhaps you could move somewhere new, or maybe you could address your careers. This is of course a lengthy process though, so to find out more quickly if this is indeed the cause of your problems, try taking time off to go on holiday together and see if you can re-find your rhythm.

Featured images:

License: Royalty Free or iStock source: http://www.andertoons.com/dating/cartoon/5007/its-not-you-its-me-and-how-annoyed-i-am-by-you/
License: Royalty Free or iStock source: http://www.andertoons.com/sports/cartoon/1607/its-only-way-i-can-keep-his-attention/
License: Royalty Free or iStock source: http://www.andertoons.com/marriage/cartoon/4907/im-tired-of-fighting-but-by-all-means-you-go-on-ahead/
License: Royalty Free or iStock source: http://www.andertoons.com/sports/cartoon/3204/oh-come-on-how-many-big-games-can-there-be-in-weekend/

Beatrice Mackenzie is a regular blogger. She gives relationship tips and advice on her blog. She says choosing a divorce law firm can be a overwhelming task but with little patience and guidance anything is possible.

Tags divorce, divorce advice, divorce lawyer, divorce support, divorce tips, Separation

Divorce Law

Exploring mediation – you don’t have to endure an ugly separation

Post author By Chris
Post date March 14, 2013
1 Comment on Exploring mediation – you don’t have to endure an ugly separation

If you’ve decided that divorce is the only way forward for your relationship, but are struggling to convince your partner/ex-partner to feel the same way, don’t panic – it doesn’t mean you have to endure a really ugly separation. You’ve probably already consulted with one of the divorce lawyers Farnham, Glasgow or wherever you live has to offer… why not talk to them about undergoing mediation of some kind?

Mediation sounds as if it might be scary, but it’s really not. It can do wonders for couples who perhaps aren’t entering into divorce with the same views; maybe one person doesn’t want to split up, or is determined to make the process as difficult as possible. At best, allowing a neutral body to help you air your views could help persuade the other person that this is the best route forward. At worst, it could at least make the process of splitting assets and custody of children a little easier.

So, what else do you need to know about mediation?

The mediator
Typically, the person assigned to mediate your case will be a trained, non-biased negotiator; an expert in viewing the facts and helping you both find the best route forward. He or she will know the full details of each person’s case and their feelings, but will have no strong leaning towards either party. If there are financial details to be worked out, they will have full access to those too; helping them help you find a path that keeps you both financially stable – as far as possible, anyway.

Mediators can also help both sides see the benefit of opting for a fair, well-thought-through custody agreement; explaining that it’s about what’s best for the children, ultimately. They are experts in tackling commonly-held arguments, such as: “Well, I brought them up whilst you went out and worked…”, or “Well, I’ve paid all of the bills for the last decade…”; something which can prove invaluable during such a painful process.

Will it work for me?
If you’re struggling through a difficult divorce, it’s probably a good idea to enter into mediation. It will help you both reach mutually-agreeable terms; something which sending lawyers’ letters back and forth can’t always promise. Dealing with each other through your legal representatives can cause anger and resentment; feelings which will only made the process a lot harder. Instead, mediation forces you both to sit in the same room and hash out any problems. Often, you’ll find that it’s a lot harder to sound off or get really angry when you’re sat in front of each other. You may be able to approach the situation with a clearer head; especially when you feel supported by your mediator.

Is it confidential?
Anything said in front of your partner/ex-partner and the mediator is entirely confidential. The mediator is not at liberty to pass on any information to a third party legal representative unless you give them strict permission to do so. What’s more, anything you say in the presence of your mediator cannot be used in court as evidence against one party. There’s only one real exception to this rule: if the mediator believes either of you or any of your children are in danger as a result of any anger you may feel, then they may deem it necessary to stop proceedings and inform the appropriate body (i.e. the police).

Tags divorce lawyers uk, divorce solicitor, Family Law, Family Law Mediators UK, Family Mediation

Executry & Probate

The Importance Of A Power of Attorney For An Elder

Post author By goose575
Post date March 10, 2013

Having a power of attorney does not give peace of mind to the elders, but also their caretakers. A power of attorney signifies that a trusted person is empowered to decide about important matters such as finances or health care on the elder’s behalf. If the person no longer has the ability to make sound decisions him- or herself, having such powers in place can be priceless. Today we explore two powers of attorney: to handle financial matters and oversee medical care.

Financial power of attorney

This document is called a “durable power of attorney for finances.” It provides a financial power of attorney. When this is in place, it provides the other party full authority to make financial decisions on the other person’s behalf. In this situation, the appointed person is traditionally called the “attorney-in-fact,” or “agent.” The person can handle routine tasks such as depositing Social Security checks or sorting through mail, but may also be responsible for complex tasks such as filing tax returns or watching over retirement accounts. The person does not have to be considered a financial expert, the most important aspect is that he or she has a good dose of common sense and is completely trustworthy. If needed, it is possible to complete difficult tasks by hiring professional third parties.

Medical power of attorney

This document is often called a “durable power of attorney for health care.” If the elder no longer wishes to make or is unable to make health care decisions, this trusted person is allowed to do so. Depending on the state of residence, the representative will be labeled as a health care surrogate, health care proxy, attorney-in-fact, agent, or something similar. This person works with health care providers to ensure that the elderly person receives the type of care they want. When the agent is arranging care, he or she is legally bound to follow the treatment preferences of the elder in so far as he or she knows what these preferences are.

If it is too late to plan

If you are struggling with a person who is already incapacitated, the process becomes a bit more difficult. You will have to ask the courts to name a conservator or guardian to watch over that person’s affairs. Oftentimes the court will appoint very close family members or a spouse to this position – of course carefully taking into consideration any and all evidence of what the incapacitated person might have wanted. It makes the process more difficult, but can still be arranged.

Approaching the situation

Especially if you see your parents struggle with certain decisions, it is only natural that you feel inclined to ‘take the reigns’ and help them as much as you can. However, it is important to remember that you are legally unable to, and morally should not want to, strong-arm someone into making a decision they are not comfortable with. If the worst-case scenario comes along and you have to ask the court to provide you with control over the elder’s affairs, just remember that this is always preferable to being charged with forgery or fraud later on.

Jonathan Rosenfeld is a nursing home abuse attorney and founder of Rosenfeld Injury Lawyers. Much of Jonathan’s law practice involves prosecuting cases where elderly have been injured or neglected during their stay at a skilled nursing facility. Jonathan also has a blog on the topic, where he discussed new developments in this growing body of law www.nursinghomesabuseblog.com

Tags Financial Power of Attorney, Health Care Power of Attorney, power of attorney

Divorce Law

Weston-Super-Mare a divorce hotspot

Post author By Leannereflect
Post date February 28, 2013

Weston-Super-Mare has been named as divorce ‘hotspot’ in England and Wales. This comes from figures from the Ministry of Justice (MoJ), which show that 2,447 divorce petitions were recorded in the town for 80,000 people in 2012.

These figures were released to inform couples of new public-funded mediation services, as they can use these to settle outside of court and pay a lot less as well as a much quicker process.

Mediation is a much simpler process for settling financial disputes as well as arranging time with children, with costs for mediation on average £500 compared to £4,000 for settling through courts. Mediation cases normally take around 110 days but settling in court will take on average 435 days.

There are many reasons for arguments causing breakdowns in relationships, with money being the biggest and with the economic decline many are struggling, which are showing in their relationships.

Mediation services use an independent, qualified third-party to help couples arrange their financial assets and arrange child contact, so there is no need to visit a court.

Leanne is the author, a digital marketer researching divorce solicitors Kent and the family law industry.

Tags divorce lawyers kent, divorce solicitors kent, family solicitors kent